Symmetry in Commotion

Being a steady creature of habit, naturally, this time of the year is very hard for yours truly. It's an uncomfortable transition that goes further than learning to write a new year of date. Even as a child, the concept of a permanent change of date seriously confused the hell out of me thus throwing me into a psychological tailspin. The anxiety could, at times, be very intense. Of course, this time of the year is also laden with other's questions of "what did you learn this past year?" which can really add to life's bubbly cauldron. Well, there's lots to reflect on and it can be either promising or a huge major downer of realization that the things you expected and anticipated the year prior didn't come to fruition or didn't happen under the terms you originally set out to accomplish them by. Such is the case somewhat now for moi.

I don't believe in new years resolutions. They are more like new years revolutions. They start out bold and full of certainty, but after the body count and disposed regime, the problems of the country usually aren't fixed anyway. This holds true for resolutions. Your problems are not going to be solved in the month of January alone. Besides, this is the month of finishing up business, not beginning it. Let's see - I don't smoke, so there's no use in giving that up. I don't believe in diets, so that too is of no use. In fact, I understand and welcome a bit of pudge in the early winter years. I'm probably he only religious person who reveres human nature and animal instincts and thus realizes that it's perfectly normal to have a gut during the cold season. Even bears hibernate and since they are the wisest ones in the Native north, perhaps we should follow their lead. Without the unnecessary mauling of others, naturally.

I rung in the New Year while in bed. I was three hours behind the normal time my body clock celebrates and so midnight had no meaning, no comprehension for an East coast girl vacationing on the West coast. As far as I was concerned, it was 9pm Pacific time that brought in 2008. Try telling that to the person who felt it necessary to scream "HAPPY NEW YEAR" out on the street at the top of their lungs. I don't think they share my same beliefs about how my body clock ticks or else they would have let me sleep.

Since I do suffer from symmetry and numerical based OCD, 2008 is sure to be quite the lucky year. At least in my stressed out brain. I am disappointed that I won't be able to have any monumental events happening this year on 08-08-08 and I don't see myself competing in the summer Olympics either to secure those historical numbers in my destiny. That's always been the ideal date, even and symmetrical. Oh well, better luck next year 09-09-09.

I do hope that whatever fate decides to lay on my doorstep this year, that it will be life changing in a positive way. I really do need some right now.