There's No Place Like Home(s)

This weekend past, I had an inexplicable urge to visit family back in CT. It was hard to pinpoint just why I had this urgency, but on some subconscious level, I had an intuition that my aunt was heading back to Florida, and this had a lot to do with the way I was feeling. By Friday afternoon, the desire became a need. Acting on my gut feelings, I found myself packing, purchasing tickets, and leaving within a few hours of my inner confirmation. The visit proved to be great, and the journey to and fro was incredibly stress free. Climbing aboard an empty Amtrak train is a rare sight for those who travel the northeastern corridor on a weekend.

This visit also affirmed something that has been gnawing inside of me for awhile -- that you can call several places home. I think I have finally become comfortable enough to allow my visits to my mom's house to be called "going home". I fully realize that I have my own abode, and that it will forever hold the top spot over any other locale. This has been a battle that has raged inside of me for some time.

What caused these conflicted feelings for so very long? Probably all of the naysayers who were present in my life when I moved out of state in the first place. Those who thought that moving to a new area of the country was crazy, a criminal form of abandonment, and that I would fail and be back "home", tail between my legs, within a certain amount of time. I was foolish for listening to them, but on many levels, was so unprepared with the challenges of my move that I let them get to me. All of them. Over the last year, I have fallen into a nice comfort zone with the realization that one can indeed call many places home. The ten year mark of the move had a lot to do with my new outlook as well. At first, I fought these feelings tooth and nail. Then I gave in as part of a quiet reluctance. Finally, I accepted the idea and developed a confidence around my feelings.

On another note, I dropped in to see both my father and grandmother as well. It was nice to pack in as many family visits as possible since I always seem to separate the two sides (mother and father) into individual visits. Nothing personal. Not at all, really. For some odd reason, it just always seems to work out that way. I simply adore my grandmother and thoroughly enjoy spending time with her. A modern woman with whom anyone can dish with about the trials and tribulations of today's events, I often ask her to discuss a memory or two of her childhood, The Blitz, and the past in general. I do this because I never really bothered to with my other grandparents, and I regret it sorely.

So, this past weekend, I went from home to home, and then back to my home. There's no place like home(s), where ever you happen to be.