Hand Over Mouth, Press Firmly.

Last night, I went out for drinks with a few of my co-workers. Usually, we choose our regular hangouts in the garment district where we clink glasses among all the other garmentos. This time, since the president of our division had a say, and his trusty Am-Ex black card to use (YEAH!), we headed to the Library Hotel for drinks. It was a beautiful unusually hot day yesterday, and we were so looking forward to snag an open spot on the rooftop lounge. However, since everyone and their brother were also enjoying the weather, there wasn't enough room to accommodate us. The ground level lounge would have to suffice.

Well. After much libation, the emotions and friendliness flowed like a river. Boss Man had to leave, and the rest of us were left to our own devices. The mood of the night quickly changed and we were all loosey-goosey with our feelings and laughter. Now, I have an uncanny knack of being full out piss drunk while managing to restrain myself from doing anything weird or out of the ordinary. Lucky for me. Lucky for everyone. Anyway, I was able to shock everyone present with a few saucy confessions, and without doing permanent damage to my reputation. Thank God.

However, the next day, I had this feeling of dread on my way into work of having to face these few co-workers. At first, I couldn't figure out why, because I wasn't the only one who had freed up the 411. I also worried how things would have been had I been out of control and revealed too much. It's not like I once worked at the Bunny Ranch, or Peep World, or anything like that. We all have a past and our experiences are subjective to both the listener and the storyteller. I guess that deep down I realized that my co-workers never really got to know me outside of work. In truth, I felt naked. It was just that I did something I rarely do and always seem to have trouble with - I opened up. Made myself vulnerable. My private life was now up for everyone to interpret in a whole different way. What did they think of me prior to this night, I wondered? What do they think of me now?

Arriving at work, it wasn't bad. Again, it's not like I did anything crazy. I just admitted to some past fun times and revealed some personal opinions. Now? There's a new comfort level that I am just like the rest. Had I kept my mouth shut the entire night, people might have continued to think of me as too shy and polite.

This was supposed to be a fun night - and it was.